ChristmasJokes

QUESTION: Why are a lion at the beach and Christmas alike?  ANSWER: Because the lion has sandy claws.

QUESTION: Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?  ANSWER: Because it soots him.

QUESTION: What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden? ANSWER: He likes to hoe, hoe, hoe.

QUESTION: What can Santa give away and still keep?  ANSWER: A cold.

QUESTION: What does Santa use to raise corned beef and cabbage?  ANSWER: A knife and fork.

QUESTION: There is something at the North Pole that has many teeth but does not bite. What is it?  ANSWER: A comb.

QUESTION: What kind of fish does Santa find in a birdcage? ANSWER: A perch.

QUESTION: Why do giraffes get Christmas gifts every year?  ANSWER: They are so good that they'll stick their necks out for anyone.

ELF: Santa, one of the reindeer swallowed my pencil! What should I do?  SANTA: Use a pen.

QUESTION: Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?  ANSWER: He wanted to sleep like a log.

QUESTION:What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?  ANSWER: The Christmas alphabet has NO EL.